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of Free and Accepted Masons
of the State of California
Grand Lodge of Masons in California
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The California Masonic Candidate Mentor Program

More on Mentoring

What is a mentor?

Historical Definition

A Mentor in the historical sense, is someone who:
  • is a loyal friend, confidant, and advisor 
  • is a teacher, guide, and role model 
  • is entrusted with the care and education of another 
  • has knowledge and advanced or expert status and who recognizes and is willing to nurture a person of talent and ability 
  • is willing to give away what he or she knows in a non-competitive way 
  • represents skill, knowledge, virtue, and accomplishment. 
    • From Greek mythology, we learn in Homer's Odyssey, that Mentor was the teacher of Telemachus, son of Odysseus. But Mentor was more than a teacher. Mentor was half- God and half-man, half-male and half-female, believable yet unreachable. Mentor was the union of both goal and path; wisdom personified.

    Contemporary Definition

    Today, some 3,500 years later, mentoring relationships are still valued. In many professions, the profession of our Craft included, mentors are thought to enhance if not ensure the professional development and success of talented candidates and new Master Masons.
    Increasingly; corporate, government, military, and Masonic leaders seek mentors when they wish to develop new levels of expertise and to advance to new levels within their given profession. 
    Yet, if mentoring were only a means for aspiring professionals to gain a career foothold or be given a boost up the career ladder, mentoring would be a one-way street. Common experience tells us that one-sided relationships do not work as well as reciprocal relationships where there is an even exchange of some kind. In fact, mentoring relationships are most likely reciprocal if they achieve their true potential.

    What does the mentor derive from mentoring?

    For the mentor, the desire that one’s work and influence “live on” is an important life goal. The nurturing and influencing of the candidate as a new Mason and the facilitation of his efforts to formulate and live out his Masonic hopes and dreams can fulfill the generative needs of the mentor. In other words, among the strongest and most compelling reasons to become a mentor may be the desire to fulfill your own personal need to contribute to the growth and development and yes, even dream fulfillment of an aspiring Masonic leader. The act of mentoring then becomes your immortality. Your desire to leave something of yourself here when you are called to the Celestial Lodge above. Thus you help to make your Lodge and your Craft better than it was when you joined. This becomes your legacy. The process allows you to repay, in some measure, the intrinsic benefits that you have gained by being a leader in the world’s oldest, most charitable, and most influential fraternal organization.

    The most effective mentors:

  • Welcome newcomers into the profession and take a personal interest in their development and well-being 
  • Want to share their knowledge, materials, skills, and experiences with those they mentor 
  • Offer support, challenge, patience, and enthusiasm while they guide others to new levels of competence 
  • Point the way and represent tangible evidence of what one can become, both within and without our Fraternity 
  • Are more expert in terms of knowledge and experience but view themselves as equals to those they mentor 

    • How promising mentors are selected

    1. Knowledge of Freemasonry 
      • They set high standards for themselves. 
      • They enjoy and are enthusiastic about Masonic studies. 
      • They continue to update their Masonic knowledge. 
    2. Demonstrated Skill in the Arts of the Craft 
      • Their work demonstrates superior achievement. 
      • They use a variety of techniques and skills to achieve the best for themselves and their Lodge. 
    3. Earned Respect of Colleagues 
      • They listen and communicate effectively with others. 
      • They exhibit a good feeling about their accomplishments and about the Family of Freemasonry. 
      • They recognize excellence in others and encourage it. 
      • They are committed to supporting and interacting with others, both inside and outside of the Lodge. 
      • They are empathetic to others and are able to understand their views. 
      • They enjoy intellectual engagement and like to help others. 
      • They are sensitive to the needs of others and generally recognize when others require support, direct assistance, or independence. 
      • They exercise good judgement in decisions concerning themselves and the welfare of others. 

    Mentoring Relationships

    Nature of Mentoring Relationships

    Establishing a positive mentoring relationship is very much like establishing other valued relationships in a number of ways. Both parties usually have a genuine desire to understand the values and expectations of the other person, and to respect and become sensitive to one another’s feeling and needs.
    At the same time, mentoring relationships differ in an important way from other personal relationships because they are professional in nature. Mentors are responsible for conveying and upholding the standards, norms, and values of the profession. They are responsible for offering support and challenge to the recipient of their mentoring while the recipient strives to fulfill the Craft’s expectations. 
    Healthy mentoring relationships are evolutionary in nature. They change because the purpose of the relationship is to enable the candidate to aquire new knowledge and skill while increasing the standards of his personal and professional competence. The perceptions of both members of the relationship also evolve as the candidate’s performance evolves to these new levels of competence under the guidance and support of the mentor. The man who said, “No man steps into the same stream twice,” might well have been describing the changing nature of mentoring relationships.

    Stages in the Development of Mentoring Relationships

    One way to view the evolutionary nature of mentoring relationships is to think of them in terms of stages of development.
    Stage 1 
    The mentor and candidate become aquainted and informally clarify their common interests, shared values, and professional goals. Taking quality time to become acquainted with one another’s interests, values, and goals seems to help mentoring relationships gain a better start. 
    Stage 2 
    The mentor and candidate communicate inital expectations. In the very few cases where a major disparity is found to exist, the pair is able to part company on a friendly basis before the actual mentoring begins. 
    Stage 3 
    Gradually, needs are fulfilled. Objectives are met. Growth takes place. New challenges are presented and achieved. 
    Stage 4 
    The mentor and candidate redefine their relationship as colleagues, peers, and friends. 

    Clarifying Expectations in Mentoring Relationships

    Most professionals place a high value on taking the initiative to clarify their own expectations and to understand the expectations of others. This quality contributes to the establishment of strong and positive mentoring relationships.
    Examples of expectations that might be communicated during the development Stages 1 and 2 of the mentoring process are:
  • The frequency of contact and the availability and accessibility of both the mentor and candidate. 
  • The amount of support that is needed by the candidate or that can be provided by the mentor. 
  • The various roles the mentor finds comfortable: listener, supporter, advisor, guide, counselor, role model, friend, nurturer, or resource. 
  • The range of roles the recipient will find natural: listener, nurture or autonomy, self-expectations as peer or co-equal. 

    • Matching Mentoring Relationships

    What should individuals who are contemplating a mentoring relationship look for during the exploratory stages of getting to know one another and sharing expectations?
  • Degree of eagerness to have a mentoring relationship. 
  • Similarities in personal styles: gregarious, animated, spontaneous, vs. low key, retiring, reflective. 
  • Similarity of expected professional assignments and responsibilities. 
  • Similarity in preference for nurture vs autonomy when establishing expectations for support. 
    • It is difficult to predict the combination of professional qualities that attract individuals to one another in mentoring relationships. There is no magic combination. Some are attracted to opposites, while others are attracted to those with similar interests, styles, and backgrounds. Thus, among professionals, any match in a mentoring relationship should be productive.

    Communication and Challenge

    Mentors have a special responsibility for effective communication because they are the primary source of information. The effective use of vebal and nonverbal communication is at the top of the list of those factors contributing to the success of mentoring relationships.
    The essence of mentorship is then communication. Communication of knowledge, of skill, of values, of attitudes, and of expectations. It is the quality of this communication process that will determine the achievement of goals and objectives. 
    Mentors need to offer challenges that stimulate intellectual growth. Challenges lead to new levels of expertise when the amount of challenge becomes motivating. Challenges that are not matched with the candidate's individual readiness for growth, can create feelings of not being able to measure up. 

    In other words, if the challenge does not match the ability to succeed, you may set the candidate up for failure. This is why it is important for mentors to become sensitive to the growth needs and potentials of those whom they mentor.

    Risks and Joys of Mentoring

    Avoiding the Risks of Mentoring

    Are there risks involved in the mentoring process? The answer is “Yes, but very few.” Let's look at four.
  • Mismatch between mentor and candidate 
  • Threat to one's professional image 
  • Failure as a mentor 
  • Competition or rivalry 

    • The Joys of Mentoring

    “It is not what we give but what we share, for the gift without the giver is indeed bare.”
    There are many joys and benefits that result from sharing experience, expertise, time, and one's self. Joy comes when others value our expertise so much that they incorporate our ideas into their own thinking and behavior, after all imitation is the best form of flattery. This is when we rediscover those long forgotten feelings of pride and accomplishment in our Craft.